Shrovetide - The Marrying Season 

Posadh Inide

In the past, the busiest time of year for marriages was during Shrovetide, which stretched from January until Ash Wednesday (Céadaoin an Luaithrigh). It was widely believed that a marriage at the beginning of Shrovetide brought good fortune in money, while one at the end of the season promised luck for future children. Shrovetide Tuesday (Máirt na hInide) was especially favoured, as Lent followed close behind and marriages were generally avoided during the fasting season, with the rare exception of St Patrick’s Day. Engagements were often arranged only a week or even a few days before the wedding. In earlier times, much thought and superstition surrounded marriage prospects.

Superstitions -Piseog

Young women might perform small rituals — such as eating salt on May Eve and going to a crossroads in the hope of dreaming of a future husband or watching the direction taken by a skein of yarn released to the wind, praying that God would send a spouse from that quarter. Others climbed hills and threw scraps of paper into the air, believing the wind’s direction might decide their fate: marriage, or none at all.

Padraig Breathnach mentions Ortha an Ghrá, which was a charm used to make someone fall in love with you. You would go to a charm-man, who would place the charm into butter, fat, soap, or water by breathing on it three times and reciting the words above. You could then carry the charm with you in your pocket. The butter, soap, or other substance was given to your beloved, and if he ate the butter or washed his face with the soap, you could no longer be kept apart. In some cases, it was said that simply imagining a person was enough to make them fall helplessly in love, no matter where they were — sitting at a table, walking along the road, or elsewhere.

In my own family there is a story that my great grandmother was planning to go to America in the 1860’s but she received a letter written in red ink telling her to stay at home and marry my great grandfather.  She took heed of the letter as they got married in 1864.

The Love Charm -Ortha an Ghrá

”Ortha a chuir Muire in im —
Ortha seirce is síorghrá —
Nár stada do cholainn ach t’aire a bheith orm,
Go leana do ghrá mo ghnáoi,
Mar leanas an bhó a lao,
Ón lá seo i go huair mo bháis, Áiméan.”

(A charm that Mary put into butter —
A charm of affection and everlasting love —
May your body not rest unless your attention is on me,
May your love follow my face,
As the cow follows her calf,
From this day until the hour of my death, Amen.)

Matchmaking and Engagement

Níl cleamhnas ar bith is fearr rath ná cleamhnas na luaithe. It was recommended that it was better to have a local arrangement rather than going further afield.

The first step in seeking a bride was usually for the man to ask a trusted friend or matchmaker (fear cleamhnas) to approach the girl’s family. This visit took place in the woman’s house, often late at night. The matchmaker commonly arrived with a bottle of poitín in his pocket as a gift and  a social lubricant. He laid out the man’s prospects: his land, cattle, and possessions.

Negotiations followed, usually with the woman’s father, and could be lengthy and spirited, with much talk, bargaining, and argument. If the family was satisfied and the woman herself agreed, an engagement night was set. Invitations were sent to close relatives and neighbours, sometimes including people who would not later be invited to the wedding itself.

On engagement night, furniture was pushed back to make space for dancing. Music, laughter, and drink filled the house, and the celebration often lasted until dawn.

On other occasions matches were made on fair days (usually assisted with a few deochs) or on pattern days and sometimes in those cases the couple didn’t meet each oher before the wedding.

The Dowry (Spré)

A dowry (spré) was always part of the arrangement, and might include money, a cow, sheep, bedding, or household goods, depending on what the woman’s family could provide. The engagement was usually finalised only days before the wedding, leaving little time before preparations began in earnest.

The Wedding Feast (Féasta Bainise)

Weddings traditionally took place in the afternoon, most commonly on a Monday or Thursday. On the morning of the wedding day, the groom travelled to the bride’s house with relatives and friends. The house quickly filled with people, and the bride and groom were celebrated with music, dancing, and generous food. The bride often wore a blue dress, and pastries and sweets were shared among all present.

Dancing could continue until mid-afternoon, sometimes as late as four o’clock, before the formal marriage ceremony took place — often at the church or, in earlier times, in the public house. Brides followed the custom of wearing something new, something old, and something borrowed, and it was considered especially lucky if a new bed and blankets formed part of her dowry.

The Dragging Home (An Tarraingt Abhaile)

One of the most anticipated moments of the wedding day was the tarraingt abhaile, or “dragging home”  the race back from the church to the groom’s house. Horses, sidecars, carts, and crowds filled the roads, with women often riding pillion. Saddle horses alone were allowed to race; carts and sidecars were forbidden to overtake the wedding couple.

This race was prepared for weeks in advance. Horses were carefully fed and trained for a few months before.  As soon as the steep hills were cleared, the horses would rear, prance, and surge forward at full speed, the riders tightening hats, checking bridles, and buttoning coats as excitement built. Crowds gathered at crossroads and along the route, lighting bonfires to watch the spectacle. The bride usually sat on the left-hand side of the groom in the cart. Challenges and rematches were not uncommon if riders disputed the outcome of the race. It was also considered unlucky for two wedding parties to meet each other on the road from the church.

The Month Visit (An Chuairt Mhíosach)

After the wedding, the bride remained in her husband’s household for a month. During this time, she settled into her new home. Only after the month had passed would she return to visit her own family, usually staying a day or two, and there was usually a party to celebrate.

Runaway Matches 

Runaway matches were once common in the area, though the practice eventually faded. Local tradition holds that Father Peter Dooley of Galway helped bring an end to it, declaring from the pulpit that such matches were little more than “I strike you, and I take you with me.”

Left on the Shelf (Fágtha ar thrá tirim) 

The Sunday after Lent was called Domhnach an Phuis nó Domhnach na Smut nó Domhnach Inide This was the first Sunday of Lent and it said that those who didn’t marry had a ‘puss’ or ‘smut – scowl on them.

Further reading 

Duchas Folklore Collection  Scoil Ros Cathail   agus Scoil Bhaile Nua 

Maigh Cuilinn: a Táisc agus a Tuairisc (Cló Chonamara, 1986) Pádraic Breathnach

The Year in Ireland: Irish Calendar Customs ( Mercier Press, 1972)  Kevin Danaher 

Irish Folk Ways( Routledge 1988)  E.Esyn Evans